π250 Ways to Dieπ
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You told yourself you wouldn't get out of bed until you finished reading all 7 Harry Potter books. Unfortunately, you are a man of your word and you die of dehydration halfway through the Deathly Hallows.
27 to go -
You attend a political debate between the democratic candidate and the republican candidate in the next federal election. The two-party hegemony, which you've never really seen until this point, leaves you bitter at the political system as it stands, so you decide to take action. You found a revolutionary new party, with a philosophy vastly different from anything previously seen in the political arena, and market it as the 'Lemon Party'. It grows wildly in popularity in the first few weeks, to the point where it makes the news and some political scientists tip you to win the election! Unfortunately, one of your would-be supporters misses your site and goes to lemonparty.org instead, where his shock at seeing the hardcore gay old man porn causes him to plot your assassination. He succeeds.
26 to go. -
You are photographing a crocodile for rational geographic, however you are so focused on the exposure settings that you don't see the crocodile swimming behind you. You are eaten alive. Your camera roll survives and the pictures turned out excellent tho.
25 to go -
Attempting to break the world record, and wrestle the crown of Hotdog Eating Champion away from your long-time rival Joey Chesnut, you choke to death on a piece of fruit punch-soaked bun.
24 -
You die from taking an ice-pick in the face on a trip to Mexico City, just like Trotsky.
23 to go. -
You are relaxing on the beach and decide to go for a swim. However, a riptide catches you and you panic, sealing your fate.
22 to go -
You have a bad nightmare and strangle yourself with your own hands in your sleep.
21 to go -
It's the Fourth of July and your gonna watch the fireworks show at the park across the street. Your mom always told you to look both ways before crossing the street. You don't see any cars coming from either direction so you start to cross and get hit by a stray bullet. You have just enough time to realize it's not a fireworks show but 2 gangs having a shootout before you die in the road.
20 to go. -
You strained too hard whilst taking a poo.
19 to go. -
As a paramedic you receive a call for a subject down in the bathroom, unresponsive. You and your partner groan because this frequently means you are about to have to work a full arrest. Upon arrival you are unable to gain access because the patient slumped against the door. You can usually push hard enough to get the door open, but not this time. You decide to kick the hinge side to see if you can displace the short screws, hoping they didn't actually penetrate into the frame. They did and you break your toe. This leads to sepsis and as you lay on your death bed you smile as you realize you and Jack Daniels have far more in common than a love of Tennessee whiskey.
18 to go -
You're lying down in the middle of the road one day, but you unfortunately get run over by a tank.
17 to go. -
You are in a tank but the exit is superglued shut. You decide to return to base camp so your buddies will realize the mistake and let you out. You are low on fuel so you leave the main road to take a shortcut through the woods. You run out of fuel and are stuck on an unused road. Since you won't be found by passerbys, you decide to fire the heavy artillery to make noise in hopes that someone investigates it and finds you. Unfortunately, the explosion creates a forest fire and you bake to death in the human oven. The fire did create investigation of the area, but it's too late for you then.
16 to go -
You get hit and killed by the heavy artillery.
15 to go. -
You dive into your pool. Apparently you were so drunk you forgot that is was a kiddie pool. You break your neck.
14 to go. -
You fear the number 13 so much you die while typing this method of death
13 to go -
Pissed off Chuck Norris.
12 -
Pissed off me.
11 -
Went on a vacation to the zoo. Instead of swimming with the Dolphins, you swam with the pirahnas.
10 -
You are killed by your son cuz he needed the inheritance money in advance to buy drugs
9 to go -
You were killed by your father because he found out you were planning to kill him for inheritance money. Either that or he just had a really bad cocaine habit and got really paranoid and shot you.
8 to go. -
You killed yourself to break the tension when you saw a man (fueled and driven paranoid by cocaine) and his druggie son (who needed inheritance money) pointing guns at one another one day when you were walking down the street.
7 to go. -
As you were going to work, you were walking across a bridge. A man was holding a gun to his head. The bullet went through his head and killed you.
6 to go -
You're out with your family to pick the coffin you want to be buried in. You see a nice one and ask to climb in, to see if you fit. The salesman lets you and you climb in. Unfortunately, there's a land mine under the coffin, and it explodes when you try to get out, killing you, the salesman, and two of your three kids.
5 to go. -
You're in line at the post office waiting to mail a package when an employee snaps and shoots up the place killing everyone they can see.
4 to go. -
You're visiting a fraternity at a college in your city. The shoddy construction work that took place when it was first up all those years ago begins to manifest today, and while you're opening the door to go in, a giant letter sigma falls on you from above the entrance.
3 to go. -
Your hiking in the woods with a group and are bit by a snake. Everyone swears it's not poisonous. Turns out your friends are idiots.
2 to go.
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Got pushed off the edge of a canyon by those idiot friends, they said "Gahh, we thought he was a pro balancer or somethin..."
One more π±
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You were at a bachelor party in vegas, and picked up 2 strippers. Sadly that was just a bit too much excitement for that poor old heart of yours after all those years of poor dieting. You die in probably one of the best ways possible. A heart attack from climax.ππ
Poor girls never saw it coming.π -
Woo! I didnt play the whole game and managed to pull the last death. π
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Unfortunately [dday] wasn't happy with the fact that you "won" the game and decided he had enough. He poisoned your 3D Doritos.
Winner by Default: [dday] ππβ¨ππ
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