The Unopposable Thumb

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• ΞΛ͒TINDΞΛDBIЯDS Jun 24, 2021

  By Dead Birds, Eating

  There it is, the right hand champ. Onlookers are thrilled to catch a glimpse before it’s quickly repocketed. Rumor is that it is slightly green in hue. Anywho, ‘the unopposable thumb’ was 14-0-0 in his professional career. That mark, while not overly impressive on it’s own, gains it’s importance from the fact that 13 of those matches were against #1 or #2 ranked appendages. “Retired Gardener!” Is heckled from a particularly rowdy fella who just happened to finish his beat down of a police horse.
  The Unoppsable Thumb, felt opposed and flashed that quick anger. Before you knew it the heckler’s thumb emerged from a long sleeve and a brawl of palmic proportions was upon us!
  Left, no right! Loopdy dupe! Wow feinting like skinny asians! What? Wow did you see that?!
• ΞΛ͒TINDΞΛDBIЯDS Jun 24, 2021

  When the dust settles gasps fill the air! The champ is down!!!! The champ is down!!! A .38 special emerges, and all living witnesses were pistol whipped. (Apparently the gun was empty). And so goes the story of the unopposable thumb…
• ΞΛ͒TINDΞΛDBIЯDS Jun 24, 2021

  Its an unexpected, unheralded tale of struggle, and hangnail. Critics say it is “definitely opposable” and “so-so”, and “a bunch more shit”.

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